Mindfulness Techniques

I recently received this article as a subscriber to Dr. Cohen- Sandler’s eNewsletter and was pleased to find that we already do this at Huakailani.

We already incorporate such calming/mindful strategies into our school schedule on a daily basis. We call them transitional activities in the Upper School, but they are strategies that Dr. Cohen- Sandler describes in her article.  

As an educator who is interested in brain development and learning practices and strategies that help maximize brain development, I was excited to learn how these techniques not only help with stress but support brain development.

It was reassuring to know that we are on the leading-edge at our school in this area, especially for our older upper school girls who are venturing into the teen years and are equipping our girls with important life-long  skills.

Our younger Lower School students also participate in such "mindful" activities through brain gym and yoga, so it begins in Kindergarten and continues on into Grade 6 at our school. GO HUAKAILANI!

This article justifies that Huakailani is on the right track to giving our girls the skills and activities they need to be intelligent, well-adjusted, happy students now and in the years to come! This article confirms that these activities our teachers take the time to incorporate into the daily schedule, give our girls the positive tools they will need for their life-skills took box.

I look forward to sharing more as I learn about the things we can do to give our girls an advantage in this fast-moving, complex world.

Here is her article:

____________

From: Raising 21st Century Teens:   

Issues & Solutions

by Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler  

clinical psychologist, author and speaker

Mindfulness Techniques:  

Benefits for Teens--and Parents

          Recently, I was discussing the topic of stress with a group of articulate high school students. After they described the pressures they were experiencing, we spoke of various effective strategies they could employ to take good care of themselves, develop healthy attitudes, and set realistic expectations. The students taught me about new online resources for improving study skills that I am now passing along to other teens.  

          As positive and empowering as this conversation was, however, the issue stirred up tense feelings. So I ended the workshop with a short, calming exercise. The girls trustingly followed my directions to sit quietly for five minutes with their eyes closed and simply concentrate on the movement of their breath. When this time had elapsed, a palpable and visible sense of serenity had filled the room. The students, their faces relaxed and smiling, seemed reluctant to leave.

                

          In my practice, as well, I am seeing that mindful awareness is helping teens, tweens, and adults to make meaningful changes in their mood, sense of well-being, and behavior. These observations are borne out by a tremendous volume of new neuroscientific research on the physiological and emotional benefits of yoga, meditation, biofeedback, and mindfulness, including:

• Reduced stress
• Promotion of well-being
• Bolstered immune system
• Increased gray matter of brain
• Improved longevity

          It is no surprise that "Mindful Techniques" was featured on the cover of The American Psychological Association's October 2011 Monitor on Psychology. One recent study showed that after just three months of doing a s imple mental exercise such as the one I did in my workshop with high school students, there is a profound shift in how the brain allocates attention.  

          By focusing on sensations and gently, non-judgmentally letting go of whatever thoughts wander into our minds, we teach ourselves to be fully present in the moment. While open to thoughts, moods, and sensations, we don't become overwhelmed by or lost in them. Our minds are calmed and quieted. Over time, we become more adept at analyzing our own thought processes--an ability that psychiatrist Daniel J. Siegel refers to as the 7th sense or mindsight.  He talks of achieving a state of "Dual-Attention," which allows us to be aware of implicit memories so that they don't distort our awareness of the present.

          Mindfulness is a technique increasingly used to help parents approach challenging situations more effectively. Over time, mothers and fathers find that instead of behaving habitually or impulsively, developing focused attention allows them to see situations more accurately and to make better choices in how they respond to their kids. Even when dealing with impulsive and defiant children, parents find that by intentionally changing their reactions , they refrain from triggering further conflict and negative emotional experiences.

What helps in these situations? More balanced emotions, response flexibility, and more compassion for their teens as well as for themselves.  

          Teens and tweens who practice mindful techniques demonstrate similar benefits. Justine, for example, is a 17-year-old girl who made enormous strides in a relatively short period of time. When I first saw her, she was experiencing considerable anxiety, despair, self-deprecation, and symptoms of bulimia. As we worked together, she described being in a state of almost constant agitation at home, as she tensely anticipated her alcoholic mother's unpredictable volatility and hurtful verbal attacks. As Justine became better able to monitor and accept her own emotional reactions without becoming swept away by them, she could more accurately assess situations that arose.

          Once she did so, she quickly accessed healthier coping strategies. In the face of provocations, Justine became more adept at staying calm and focused rather than responding rashly.  She learned to communicate with greater clarity. Remaining in control fostered more self-acceptance. Most important, as she more astutely analyzed her thought processes, she was able to maintain love and concern for her mother while also taking more appropriate care of herself.

          Remarkably, such changes in parents and teens are long-term. Due to neuroplasticity, mindfulness and similar exercises alter the structure and functioning of even mature, adult brains. In fact, research increasingly shows that mindful awareness is effective in helping to treat attention deficit and mood disorders--and reduces or eliminates the need for medication.

          There are many different exercises that can be used to develop mindful awareness. To do the simple breathing exercise I used in the high school workshop, start with just five minutes in a quiet, private place. Focus on the flow of oxygen in and out of the nostrils or the rising and falling of the chest and abdomen. When inevitable, intrusive thoughts or feelings come to mind, gently note them and just refocus on your breathing. As comfort increases, gradually increase to 15 - 20 minutes a day.

 This practice is appropriate for tweens and teens in the family, too. In fact, many young people today are learning about and embracing yoga, meditation, and other forms of mindful awareness. Some are even being offered yoga as an option for physical education in public and independent schools. Talk with your teens and tweens about the scientifically proven, short- and long-term gains. Encourage family members to practice mindfulness, especially during times of the day that would bring everyone an immediate sense of peacefulness. This is one thing you can definitely try at home!

TOOLS TO USE

FOR RELAXATION DOWNLOADS: http://www.dartmouth.edu/~healthed/relax/downloads.html  

FOR GUIDED MEDITATION AND MINDFULNESS PRACTICES:   

www.marc.ucla.edu  

                                                                           http://www.drdansiegel.com/resources/everyday_mindsight_tools/  

FOR FURTHER READING:

Everyday Blessings: The inner work of mindful parenting. M. Kabat-Zinn and J. Kabat-Zinn, 1997, Hyperion.

Parenting from the Inside Out: How a deeper self-understanding can help you raise children who thrive, by Daniel J. Siegel, MD, and Mary Harzell, M.Ed., 2004, Tarcher.

ONLINE MINDFULNESS COMMUNITY:   

 http://innerkids.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network  

  

More Amazing Service Learning

This week there has been amazing examples of the powerful impact of integrated projects in the Upper School Classroom. It reminds me of what goes on inside a chrysalis! 

The Grade 5-6 girls have been working hard all week on the Service Learning Presentation and Showcase for Windward Mall. They are motivated and working hard! The spark of learning is so ignited that even though typical girls in grades 5-6 would still need some guidance and direction from their teacher on what to do to complete such a project, I have served only as a person who provides the resources they need. They know exactly what to do and their showcase for the project is fabulous!

Not for Huakailani Girls!

Completely on their own, guided by their previous service learning experiences from the past 2 years and armed with their knowledge about bokashi, composting and environmental stewardship, they have  been completely working on their own (without needing any directions from me except to provide materials) to get the display and showcase items ready! 

Their demonstrated collaboration skills and the level of their work is something you would see on a Middle School and High School level! I am even amazed by the high quality of their work, just like I was last year when some of the girls on this current team presented at the "Plant Your Butts Here" project at the Service Learning Showcase 2011. (You can read about that Showcase Here - http://huakailanibblog.blogspot.com/. The girls, some of the youngest presenters at the showcase, amazed middle school teachers, students and service learning leaders with their confidence, knowledge and skill. 

They amazed the service learning leaders so much that the main guest speaker at the conference, Catherine Berger Kaye now uses our project as an example in all of her presentations all over the world. She even made our project, "Plant Your Butts Here" the centerpiece in a book she is writing about Service Learning for Kids. The book should be out soon!

This is an example of how Huakailani Girls take what they learn and get opportunities to integrate all of the learning to produce something phenomenal. These girls are all going to be the leaders in their groups when they work on group projects in Middle School and beyond. 

I am very impressed and everyone else will be too! I hope you can stop by to see what they have done!

We will be at Windward Mall from 10 - 2 on Saturday! Come on over to se their work and the work of other schools from around the island. This year they are showcasing the "Compost Bin." We hope to inspire others to turn their food waste into compost! 

These girls are soaring!  These butterflies never cease to amaze me!  Please congratulate these girls on a job well done by leaving them comments on the Service Learning Blog which they have helped develop and maintain.  

http://huakailaniadoptablock.blogspot.com

Teens

I recently attended a presentation by Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler at La Pietra School. The topic was "Stressed Out Girls" and what parents can do to alleviate the stress instead of adding to it.

She shared that our children need to be encouraged and supported to do well but not at the cost of over stressing them. In Hawaii, it seems this "school frenzy" is even more heightened by the need to get our children into a competitive private school because of lack of confidence in our public school system.

Being a teenage girl is complicated enough with all the new pre-adolescent hormones rushing through the body by adding peer pressure and do well in school pressure, it is easy to see why our girls are stressed-out!  I didn't realize the additional stresses our high tech world teenagers are exposed to via texting, Face Booking and My Space.

Here is an article by Dr. Cohen-Sandler that was shared at the presentation.

The Achievement Frenzy
By Dr. Cohen-Sandler

Many parents are worried, and rightly so, about how achievement pressures today are affecting their teens. Too often I hear some variation of, “My daughter thinks that if she doesn’t take all AP and Honors classes and get straight As and perfect SATs she won’t get into a good college.” It is true that teens and even tweens these days are feeling tremendous pressure to succeed. Many are over scheduled, perpetually on edge and exhausted by taking challenging classes, doing extracurricular activities, getting perfect grades, and finding a way to stand out from their peers in the quest to “look good for college.”

The societal frenzy around achievement is a generalized and pervasive problem—a national phenomenon. With the surge in this age group, there is undeniably more competition for schools, internships, and jobs. Directors of college admissions confirm that there are many qualified applicants for every spot in the freshman class. Anxiety about standardized testing is cascading down from administrators and educators to parents and students. As they well know, there is an awful lot riding on teens’ grades and test scores.

Happily, there is much parents can do at home to try to counteract unhealthy cultural messages teens get about achievement. Of course, all mothers and father want their daughters to be as successful as possible; there is nothing wrong with that. But we don’t want them to be high achievers at any cost. Keeping in mind the big picture—that is, girls’ health and well-being—we all have to guard against getting caught up in the frenzy for success and losing our bearings.

It is hard for parents to maintain a calm perspective in the midst of what often seems like sheer panic. When we hear of other kids getting intensive SAT tutoring or going on community service expeditions, we may worry that we too should be giving our children these kinds of advantages, at least to keep the playing field level. Getting the facts can alleviate your anxiety while also guiding your decisions. For example, you might research the effectiveness of various SAT prep courses and programs. Or ask the experts at your high school’s College and Career Center what colleges are really looking for. But remember, getting into college is not the only goal.

National studies are reporting that students are arriving at college in worse psychological shape than ever before. Many are already burned out. Universities describe freshman as suffering from more depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders, yet having fewer coping skills. As a result, they are having significantly more trouble adjusting to college life. Girls are twice as likely as boys to say they’re overwhelmed by everything they have to do. So just because “everyone else” seems to lead hectic lives and be just as pressured doesn’t mean we should accept stress as the normal, even expected, consequence of raising successful daughters.

Clearly, chronic stress is harmful. Although teens need eight to ten hours of sleep per night, they routinely burn the midnight lava lamp to finish their homework, study for exams, print out papers before deadlines, go online, etc. Sleep deprivation leads to poorer concentration, slower learning, difficulty coping with stress, and greater susceptibility to illness. So insist on good sleeping habits. Even during adolescence, girls may still need parental guidance—and the voices of reason— to keep their lives in balance.

Encourage stress-reducing activities (e.g., non-competitive exercise such as jogging, swimming, martial arts, and yoga rather than highly competitive team sports). Teens benefit from the chance to create poetry, art, and music, as well as down time to think and dream. Keeping journals recently has been shown to improve concentration by cutting down on distracting thoughts—but only if writers try to make sense of distressing emotions and events. Many hardworking teens and tweens long for free time just to “chill” or catch up on their favorite mystery or chick lit authors.

But even these simple suggestions may not be so easy to do. That is because achievement is a complex issue that arouses intense feelings in all parents. Some soul searching may be in order. Ask yourself if your teens could be inadvertently picking up on your fears about achievement or college. Is it possible your expectations could be too high? Might your hopes for your children be coming from your own unfulfilled dreams? Are you trying to live vicariously through your kids? Answering “yes” or “maybe” to any of these questions might suggest areas for further thinking.

 Be more mindful of what your behavior conveys to your daughter. For example, do you proudly display on the refrigerator schoolwork that isn’t perfect, a B+ paper or 85% test grade? Do you focus mostly on external emblems of success, such as grades, wins, and awards? Or do you emphasize your daughter’s inner qualities—for example, her kindness, helpfulness, honesty, fairness, sense of humor, etc.? Studies have shown that undergraduates who base their self-esteem on inner traits not only experience less stress and more positive relationships with their teachers, but also they get better grades. Lastly, what might you model for your daughter by how you live your own life (e.g., the balance between work, play, and rest)?

At this point in their lives, teens need to feel free to explore their interests and discover where their true passions lie. They need to figure out who they are and follow their own dreams. They feel most supported when their parents see them for who they really are. Pressuring them to specialize too early—or in areas that seem meaningless to them—is usually counterproductive. Girls who go through the motions, striving for other people’s goals, are generally resentful rather than gratified. Instead, they need to know it is okay to stumble, to take wrong turns, and to find own their way in their own time.

It is helpful for parents to remind themselves that intellect and fine schooling don’t guarantee success. What really matters is girls’ emotional well-being, curiosity, perseverance, and integrity. What really matters is their capacity to get along with others and take pride in their accomplishments. Parents convey these values loudly and clearly when we expect them to do their own work, only offer  offer as much help as they really need, and encourage them to keep stress to a minimum.

After all, the most successful people are not necessarily brilliant, but they are passionate and self-directed. The happiest people are not necessarily the highest achievers, but they feel good about who they are, what they do, and their relationships with others. As parents, raising such individuals would be perhaps the ultimate achievement.